Lessons From a Recovering Know-It-All
I've always thought myself to be quite the intellect. I love learning and am full of random, useless facts. When I don't know the answer to something, I make it a mission to find the answer and ingrain it in my memory to never forget. I love to think critically and get my brain juices flowing. I'm one to take charge in group settings and lead to seize the task at hand.
Too much of anything is a bad thing.
I remember in my early 20s someone told me they can't tell me anything because the next words out my mouth would be "I know." I admit I always have good intentions, but I've come to learn how I can become overbearing. I became difficult to communicate with. I learned that I sometimes talk too much to show how much I know. I just want to drop some knowledge.
"You best act like you know!"
I used to feel that if I didn't know the answer to something, I was in the wrong. So I had to act as if I knew. When I was growing up I was the one all the kids came to for tutoring. I even helped older kids with their homework. When I was in school, I was always the first one to raise my hand. I felt useful and wanted. Subconsciously, I felt like I always needed to know the answers so people always wanted to have me around. Years later, I learned that most of my youth was lived out being performance driven. I always needed to be on my A-Game, outshining the rest, being a show-off.
As an adult, I had to deal with the side-effects of not knowing. I didn't take that too well. When life was falling apart and I didn't have the answers, I fell hard. I did not handle rejection well. The feeling of being wrong hurt so bad. The feeling of not having the answer cut like a jagged knife. Why didn't someone tell me something about my arrogance? I wish I learned this lesson earlier in life so I didn't f
a
l
l
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so hard.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel...
These days I'm recovering from the symptoms of being a former know-it-all. I remain confident in my intellect, but have learned not to belittle others or be condescending in the process. I've learned to embrace my intelligence without aggravating others in the process. It's all about balance.
