Hi. My name is Trust Issues.

vulnerable (adjective) - capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

Emotionally wounded.

I've trusted too quickly. I've always given everyone the benefit of a doubt. Innocent until proven guilty.
Maybe it was me being naive or maybe it was just treating everyone the way I wanted to be treated. My most intimate relationships were butchered.

A friendship of 15 years was tarnished because I trusted too much. The person I trusted everything with was the same person who leaked my life stories to those around her. I trusted her with my most intimate secrets -- the dark sides of me -- the ugly sides of me. But I later find out that others knew those sides of me too. Admittedly, I've had others lose their trust in me because of decisions I've made or things I've said or done. I've failed to keep my word, lied, withheld information, and done things that were out of my character. We've become so accustomed to living in a bubble of distrust. Trust no one because we never want to be vulnerable again. We learn to live with disappointments and live to protect ourselves. We live in skepticism and suspicion. This, in turn, results in a self-fulfilling prophecy because, of course, people will fail us and we will fail people.

Vulnerability is terrifying. It feels safer behind the walls we've built. Being vulnerable is like removing a security blanket and you're left in the cold. I know there are a lot of people who have trust issues from more than just a break-up or life drama. Abusive relationships, mental illnesses, emotional trauma, and other traumatic life events can cause us to never trust a soul for the rest of our lives, not even family members. With that being said, I pray for healing and restoration in those areas. I pray that as your life becomes so filled with love and compassion those areas of hurt and mistrust minimize. There are also resources available. I'm not ashamed to say that therapy and counseling is available and it helps. Sometimes we need help getting to the root of our issues. 

"When trauma becomes a part of your identity, it can be terrifying to consider who you are outside of that. The idea of living a life without dysfunction may even seem impossible. Often, you will engage in self sabotaging behavior simply because the pain is familiar."  @EboneeDavis via Twitter

I've had to practice self-compassion. 

We were created to have relationships. We want to belong, connect, and be in relation with others. When we deny ourselves that natural desire we shorthand ourselves. “Self-compassion is about giving ourselves room to be human, to be flawed and sensitive, lazy and unproductive, without having to define ourselves by those flashes of feelings and ways of being. It’s about cultivating a perspective over ourselves so we never shut ourselves down and never lose faith in our own potential just because we may fly off the deep end one night or hole up in our apartment all weekend.” When we give ourselves this pass, it gives us the ability to be able to see others the same. I am still working on giving myself permission to love myself.